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Zionism and Israel - Humor & Jokes

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When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean-neither more nor
less."

* Humpty Dumpty, in a rather scornful tone from Lewis Carrol's "Through the
Looking Glass"

~~~ "Unbiased" Oxymorons Humor ~~~

Ancient Greek: Oxus = "Sharp" Moros = "Dull" "Oxymoron" = A Sharp Dullness Or A Foolish Wise. ...A Self Contradicting Phrase.

Military intelligence

Compassionate Conservative

Enlightened Despotism

Guided Democracy

A Little Big

Fresh Exhaust

Progressive Conservative

Absolute Uncertainty

Fresh Frozen

Proprietary Standard

Academic Sorority

Friendly Takeover

Pure Garbage

Accurate Stereotype

Full-Length Bikini

Rap Music

Act Naturally

Full-Time Day

Care Real Fantasy

Active Reserve

Fuzzy Logic

Real Numbers

Adult Children

Gentleman Pirates

Real Potential

Advanced BASIC

Genuine Fake

Recently New

Affordable Luxury

Genuine Imitation

Reckless Caution

Aging Yuppie

Genuine Veneer

Relative Truth

Almost Exactly

Gold Silverware

Resident Alien

Alone Together

Good Grief!

Restrained Opulence

American English

Graduate Student

Rock Opera

Anarchy Rules!

Green Orange

Rolling Stop

Art Student

Ground Floor

Rubber Bones

Artificial Grass

Growth Recession

Rubber Cement

Artificial Intelligence

Guest Host

Rush Hour

Assistant Supervisor

Gunboat Diplomacy

Same Difference

Authentic Reproduction

Half Dead

Saving Price

Automated Data Entry

Hard Water

Savings & Loan

Awfully Good

Helicopter Flight

School Vacation

Balding Hair

Highly Depressed

Scottish Danish

Bankrupt Millionaire

Holy War

Second Best

Beginning Finnish

Home Office

Secular Religion

Bittersweet

Honest Crook

Security Risk

Black Light

Huge Market Niche

Self-Help Groups

Blameless Culprit

Boneless Ribs

Important Game

Semi-Boneless

Bricked-Up Windows

Industrial Park

Serious Fun

Broad Tip

Initial Result

Serious Rest

Budget Deficit

Institutional Revolutionary

Short Length

Butt Head

Jumbo Shrimp

Silent Alarm

Casual Intimacy

Kosher Ham/Pork

Silent Scream

Cheerful Pessimist

Lace-Up Loafers

Simply Superb

Civil War

Least Favorite

Single Family

Civilized Divorce

Single Pair

Classic Rock

Leisure Industry

Singles Group

Clean Dirt

Situational Ethics

Clean Hack

Limited Lifetime Guarantee

Small Crowd

Clearly Confused

Linear Curve

Social Science

Clearly Misunderstood

Liquid Crystal

Soft Rock

Coca-Cola Foods

Liquid Gas

Solid Glass

Coed Fraternity

Literal Interpretation

Solitary Group

Colored Music

Live Recording

Special Rights

Common Sense

Loose Tights

Speed Limit

Completely Unfinished

Mandatory Options

Spiritual Materialism

Compulsory Volunteers

Computer Jock

Straight Hook

Meatless Hamburger

Student Athlete

Conspicuous Absence

Mild Interest

Student Teacher

Constant Change

Military Peace

Styrofoam Peanut

Constant Variable

Mini Marathon

Minor Miracle

Sweet Sorrow

Countable Infinity

Model Prisoner

Synthetic Natural Gas

Taped Live

Crash Landing

Modified Final Judgement

Curved Line

Mutual Differences

Ten-Ounce Pound Cake

Death Benefits

Terminal Initialization

Definite Maybe

Never Generalize

Deliberately Thoughtless

New Classic

Thunderous Silence

Diet Ice Cream

New Tradition

Tight Slacks

Disgustingly Good

Down Elevator

Non-Alcoholic Beer

Down Escalator

Non-Binding Contract

True Gossip

Non-Commercial Sponsor

True Replica

Drip Dry

Non-Dairy Creamer

Dry Ice

Non-Working Mother

Turned Up Missing

Dry Lake

Oddly Appropriate

Unbiased Opinion

Dry Vermouth

Old News

Unbiased Predisposition

Dry Wine

Only Choice

Uncommitted Voter

Duplicate Original

Open Secret

Uncrowned King

Easy-Open Cap

Original Copy

Uninvited Guest

Elevated Subway

Paid Volunteers

Entire Portion

Parking Space

Unsalted Saltines

Even Odds

Partial Cease-Fire

Unsung Hero

Exact Estimate

Partially Honest

User-Friendly War

Exit Interview

Partially True

Vacant Lot

Extensive Briefing

Partly Pregnant

Vegetable Beef Soup

Factual Inaccuracies

Passive Activity

Violent Agreement

Failing Health

Passive Aggression

Virtual Reality

Fallout Shelter

Peace Force

Voluntary Compliance

First-Strike Defense

Fish Farm

Plastic Glass

Plastic Silverware

War Games

Flexible Freeze

Player Coach

Foolish Wisdom

Wireless Cable

Forward Lateral

Woods Metal

Found Missing

Preservational Development

Working Vacation

Free Agent

Primitive Culture

Yellow Violet

Some Oxymoron Phrases:

All The Way Through A Portion

Free With Purchase

Are You Asleep?

Include Me Out

As Famous As The Unknown Soldier

Now, Then...

Back To The Future

One Size Fits All

Benign Military Occupation

Different, Like Everybody Else.

Ready-To-Eat Frozen Dinner

Better Than New

Thank God I'm An Atheist

Brief After-Dinner Speech

That Shoe Fits Him Like A Glove.

Can I Ask You A Question?

Thirty-Day Mini-Jumbo CD

Easy To Assemble

This Page Intentionally Left Blank

Fighting For Peace

You cannot know anything for sure

More Humor and Jokes at Zionism-Israel Pages

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Laughter is a universal solvent. Most of these jokes have nothing to do with Israel or Zionism, but we hope they brighten your day.

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This site provides resources about Israel, Zionism and Israeli history, peace process, Middle East etc. We like these sites and we hope you will popularize them to give Israel, Zionism and peace a fair break on the Web. We are not responsible for the information content of these sites. Please do copy these joke pages with the links below to your Web site, forums and emails.

Zionism and Israel Pages http://zionism.netfirms.com http://www.zionism-israel.com Zionism and Israel Information Center and http://www.zionismontheweb.org Zionism and Israel On the Web

Wikipedia article about Zionism - A comprehensive article including the history of Zionism as well as links to specific topics and articles about anti-Zionism.

Zionism - Definition and Brief History - A balanced article that covers the definitions and history of Zionism as well as opposition to Zionism and criticisms by Arabs, Jewish anti-Zionists.

A History of Zionism and the Creation of Israel - http://www.zionism-israel.com/zionism_history.htm A detailed history from the Zionist point of view that discusses and addresses some criticisms of Zionism.

Labor Zionism - Early History and Critique - Contribution of Labor Zionism to the creation of the Jewish state, and problems of Labor Zionism in a changing reality.

The US Library of congress has a comprehensive and balanced set of articles about Zionism:

Zionist Precursors - US Library of Congress

Political Zionism - US Library of Congress

Cultural Zionism - US Library of Congress

Labor Zionism - US Library of Congress

Revisionist Zionism - US Library of Congress

Active Zionism - A Zionist advocacy site with many useful links

PEACE Watch - Middle East Dialog and Peace Process

Concise Guide to Israeli-Zionist CyberSpace

MidEastWeb Middle East News History, Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Maps

Zionism and Its Impact - The effect of Zionist Settlement on Arab Palestinian Economy and Society http

Ameinu Progressive Zionist Organization